By David Bartlett, Project Lead, Global Boyhood Initiative
On International Men’s Day, let’s take the opportunity to explore how, in today’s world, we think about boys and young men – what we expect and want them to be like, and what they expect of themselves – and what a healthy positive boyhood and manhood might look like. And let’s think about what we can do to move in this direction.
Let’s start with some bad news. Recent evidence indicates that an increasing number of young men in many countries have more traditional attitudes about gender roles and more suspicion and hostility towards gender equality. Surveys and studies have revealed that many young men increasingly feel angry, marginalised and misunderstood – and view masculinity through a lens that emphasizes dominance and the rejection of vulnerability.
This has led to a resurgence of beliefs that prioritize traditional male roles as protectors and providers, often at the expense of emotional openness and collaboration. Many of these young men see feminism as a threat, often fuelled by online communities that amplify sentiments of resentment and victimization.
Online, feminist ideas resonate with many young women who share content that celebrates self-expression, body positivity, and equality in relationships. But some online forums popular with young men emphasise that many young men are losing ground socially and economically. Influencers in these spaces sometimes frame feminism as a threat to traditional masculinity, and an attack on men.
This does not come out of a clear blue sky, of course. Ideas about gender roles develop early in our lives, and have been around for many generations. They’re learned, and they vary across different historical periods, and different societies. For example, the phrase “boys will be boys” tells boys and adults that rebellious, independent, competitive, and at times domineering and aggressive behaviour – showing little vulnerability or empathy – is natural for boys.
These expectations are often reinforced by family, friends, schools, and media. The pressure to conform can be very powerful, especially in the teenage years, a critical period for forming identity.
Many men benefit from these norms – in terms of their powerful position in society, social status and so on – and equally over generations huge numbers of women have lost out. But these expectations don’t work well for most men. Imagine growing up with the idea that any sign of vulnerability could make you less of a man. This mindset isolates many men, damages relationships, and limits our capacity for genuine connection. Men who are pressured to conform to traditional masculine ideals also often experience higher levels of work-related stress.
When men are unable to express or process emotions, they miss out on opportunities for deeper connection and well-being, while those around them lose the benefits of male emotional engagement. Men are also far less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues. Research in six countries by Movember in 2019 found that over half the men surveyed felt pressured to be “self-reliant” and only seek help when things reach a crisis point. A European Parliament briefing in 2023 reported that only 25% of adults receiving mental health care in Europe are men (although their needs are comparable to women’s). And men die by suicide at nearly three times the rate of women. Men in some communities or industries—like construction, law enforcement, or the military—are especially vulnerable, as these environments often reinforce traditional “tough” stereotypes.
None of this is inevitable. There is much we can do to support men to step outside these restrictive norms. The key is to encourage men, especially young men, to live according to their personal values, and fulfil their individual potential – and not adhere to limiting societal pressures.
More healthy and balanced male role models are crucial. When boys and young men see male leaders, mentors, parents, partners or friends being open about their struggles or fears, modelling vulnerability as a strength, it gives permission for them to do the same.
More inclusive representations of men in the media – mainstream and social – showing men as caregivers, as emotionally expressive, and able to form healthy respectful relationships, help normalize these qualities. Social media can also amplify positive voices and create communities where men feel supported to express a fuller range of emotions.
And men can make a difference in our offline lives too. For example, when fathers are emotionally present and involved with their children, they model a masculinity can includes empathy, nurturing, and open communication. They become role models for sons who learn that masculinity can involve vulnerability and connection, and for daughters who see that men can be both strong and caring. In fact, everyone benefits. Research from Equimundo’s MenCare campaign shows that when fathers are actively involved, children have better health and development outcomes, women experience greater career and personal opportunities, and fathers report stronger, more fulfilling family connections.
Women also have a vital role to play – when they expect and demand respect, equality, and emotional openness from the men in their lives – and also support them to adopt caring family roles – this encourages men to express a broader, more open version of masculinity.
We also need to start these conversations early in boys lives – the earlier the better! We need to challenge these restrictive cultural norms through early education, and support parents and carers to do so too. Lifting Limits are piloting a new curriculum for all children in Key Stage 2 called Beyond Gender Stereotypes from now through to 2026 – after which the programme will be freely available. This programme is part of Equimundo’s Global Boyhood Initiative.
I often feel that, as a society, we are still at an early stage in rethinking masculinity. This is so important, because our ideas about masculinity have consequences for us all. It’s a conversation that is just getting started, and we have a long way to go. But we are already on that journey, and it will be worth it!